HOLD out!

"There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Furthermore, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain."

— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was reading about Dietrich Bonhoeffer last night. My mom would be ashamed to know I hadn't really heard of him.  I knew he was someone special. I just had never read about his life. She's fascinated by men and women of character and faith; knowing  and retelling their stories. Weird. 

What an AMAZING man of God. I was so sad to think about what he went through during his life. And SO amazed at the things he accomplished...before he was hung. It fired me up.  Additionally, when I came across the above quote; I realized the infinitesimal amount of sacrifice I have had in my life. Bonhoeffer wrote those words while in prison.

For me this means, yeah,  it hurts to think of a year apart from someone I love. I hate it. But, God is showing me that our lives need to change. Presently, I don't know what that will look like. But, I am certain that the Gospel cannot sit on a shelf.  He is showing me over, and over, and over, and OVER again...that He has a plan for us.  He will provide for us. And, that we have nothing to wait for.

It's all or nothin' baby~

Our mountain is waiting...

      

I've been a slacker about blogging lately. Mr. Deem will be up for his deployment to Afghanistan here soon. Life has been precious. Slow. Sad. Sweet. 

We had two weeks of leave in September. It was so stinkin' wonderful to have time as a family. Jason has been working like the crazy type-A that he is, doing projects around the house. It's really humbling to see how hard he is willing to work for his family. During leave, we headed to Sea World, in San Antonio. The kids LOVED Shamu. I was way more impressed than I care to admit.  How the heck do they train a killer whale to #1. NOT eat the trainers, and #2.Wave to ME!? (How did they know I was so special?) Jason and I had a few teeny parenting fails when we took the kids on rides that were way too intense for them. I think Kennedy really thought we were trying to kill her after we took her on the, Journey to Atlantis. What can I say? I like rides. I thought maybe it was genetic. Eventually, they found the little kiddy Shamu roller coaster, and the Rio Loco
(towards the bottom of the page); we were redeemed in the eyes of our children. Score.

Mr. Deem feeding the dolphins; who--by the way, cost more to feed during lunch than our whole family!

After Sea World, our family, my sister and her husband all headed to Olive Garden. There isn't one closer than an hour's drive away from here...so I made sure to eat enough to tide me over for the next six months.

My sister's husband is kind of a saint, and entertained the kids in the back of the van while we waited for seats at Olive Garden.

The next day we headed to the Houston Children's Hospital, and finally got all Ray's blood drawn for her tests. It was really nice to get feedback from someone who specializes in international adoption, and some affirmation in the parenting department. The doctor said that Reagan is not behind in any way. We expected some speech delays, but even in that department, she seems to be doing great. 

Sad Ray with bandages on her arms from the 10 gallons of blood they drew.

So now...we wait. 

Jason and I are both ready to get this deployment started (already!); so it can be over. I know that God is totally holding us in His hands. I see that now more than I ever have. But, I'd be a liar if I didn't admit to some serious anxiety on both our parts. Mostly, I want to be strong and experience the kind of character building that only seems to happen when you are challenged. However, at times I would definitely like to crawl into bed and stay there!

So, here starts another Deem adventure. I'll keep you posted~

(When I need help I turn to the Bible. And, of course, Dr. Seuss!)

In the world you have tribulation, but take courage; I have overcome the world.    John 16:33

(Excerpts from, "Oh! The Places You'll Go!" )

You will come to a place where the streets are not marked.

Some windows are lighted.

But mostly they're darked.

A place you could strain both your elbow and chin!

Do you dare stay out?

Do you dare go in?

How much can you lose?

How much can you win?

I'm afraid that sometimes you'll play lonely games too.

Games you can't win 'cause you'll play against you.

All Alone!

Whether you like it or not,

Alone will be something you'll be quite a lot.

And when you're alone, there's a very good chance,

You'll meet things that scare you right out of your pants!

There are some, down the road between hither and yon,

That can scare you so much you won't want to go on.

You'll get mixed up, of course, as you already know.

You'll get mixed up with many strange birds as you go.

So be sure when you step.

Step with care and great tact and remember that Life's a Great Balancing Act.

Just never forget to be dexterous and deft.

And never mix up your right foot with your left.

TODAY is your day! 

Your mountain is waiting.

So...get on your way!

~Dr. Seuss

The Naked Visitor

Yesterday Mr. Deem had the day off.  After we put the kids down for their afternoon naps...we went to work on our more-ambitious-than-we-can-ever-really-complete, "To do" list. We settled down in the homeschool room to unpack books.

After a bit, I heard Grant foolin' around in his room and went to check on him.

"Mom can I get up now?" 

"Um. No.You haven't even fallen asleep yet! Wait a little bit longer. Get some sleep."

I left him and felt confident in my son's ability to be normal.

Oh silly me. After all...I'm his mother!

About 20 minutes later, our neighbor knocked on the door. 

With our youngest son. 

He was wearing green sandals. 

A blue striped t-shirt. 

And that's about it.

Mr. Deem thanked her profusely. Muttered something like, "Well THIS is embarrassing." And, brought the little escapee back in the house. My husband sat the runaway on his robot bedsheets--intending to give him a stern talking to, and a good beating. But, it was at least 10 minutes before he could talk straight-faced to the naked, rueful, cheesily grinning 3-year-old.

You see...aparently, the neighbors had watched our son stand on his bed--naked, and attempt to push up the window that lies at the foot of said bed. From the mouth of our son, he states that his first attempt to leave was sucessful. However, after getting out the window and to the yard, he got scared and ran back in. Then, he put on his sandals.  Pulling on pants never seemed to cross his mind. He grabbed a shirt, crawled through the 8-inch opening that had been made, and left again. 

Then, he ran, "Yike dis!" (Imagine a 3-year-old with little fists in the air, and bent arms doing a running motion.) "Den I cwossed the street. BUT! I yooked both ways, yike dis, and dis, and dis!" (Imagine same 3-year-old looking left then right, then left again.) THEN, he supposedly crossed the street to our neighbors, and put his face to the window of their front door, until they opened it. When the mommy neighbor asked him if his parent's knew he was not at home...he ran from her. He says she ran after him, and then, "Yet (let) me hold her hand."

Lord. Thank-you that some bad guy didn't get my son. Thank-you that Jason was home to get him in trouble for running away while I laughed in the other room. Thank-you for good neighbors. And, thank-you for this little, bare-butted, adorable, funny child.

p.s. I don't actually advocate nakedness. It's just something new that seems to have come on Grant's radar. That is: changing clothes, taking them off, putting some back on, but maybe not all. Hopefully the neighbors aren't too scarred.