October 26, 2010

HOLD out!

"There is nothing that can replace the absence of someone dear to us, and one should not even attempt to do so. One must simply hold out and endure it. At first that sounds very hard, but at the same time it is also a great comfort. For to the extent the emptiness truly remains unfilled one remains connected to the other person through it. It is wrong to say that God fills the emptiness. God in no way fills it but much more leaves it precisely unfilled and thus helps us preserve -- even in pain -- the authentic relationship. Furthermore, the more beautiful and full the remembrances, the more difficult the separation. But gratitude transforms the torment of memory into silent joy. One bears what was lovely in the past not as a thorn but as a precious gift deep within, a hidden treasure of which one can always be certain."
— Dietrich Bonhoeffer

I was reading about Dietrich Bonhoeffer last night. My mom would be ashamed to know I hadn't really heard of him.  I knew he was someone special. I just had never read about his life. She's fascinated by men and women of character and faith; knowing  and retelling their stories. Weird. 

What an AMAZING man of God. I was so sad to think about what he went through during his life. And SO amazed at the things he accomplished...before he was hung. It fired me up.  Additionally, when I came across the above quote; I realized the infinitesimal amount of sacrifice I have had in my life. Bonhoeffer wrote those words while in prison.

For me this means, yeah,  it hurts to think of a year apart from someone I love. I hate it. But, God is showing me that our lives need to change. Presently, I don't know what that will look like. But, I am certain that the Gospel cannot sit on a shelf.  He is showing me over, and over, and over, and OVER again...that He has a plan for us.  He will provide for us. And, that we have nothing to wait for.

It's all or nothin' baby~


  1. Hi there! I'm so excited to hear about you meeting our sweet little Esther Selam. It's like they had a life before we knew them (which they did...) and any bit or piece of it is such a treasure to be stored away. I would love to hear more about what you remember of her, if anything. If you were like me, you were in a daze and had (mostly) only eyes for your little sweet one during that amazing and crazy week in Ethiopia. Not sure how to give you my email without broadcasting it online, but I would love to chat. I am on facebook (Julie Osburn) if that would be a better way to visit. I would just love to hear anything! Thanks for contacting me.

  2. Hi! I went to write to you on facebook today and couldn't find you. Please don't tell me you got off of it, I need your stories and light heartedness for my sanity. I had a bunch more adoption questions and needed to ask somebody and thought you would be perfect! Come back!!!

  3. I'm just takin' a *break* from fb! I'm really struggling with finding my groove with homeschooling this year. I am maybe a little addicted--so I'm fasting for a bit. ;-) But, PLEASE, you can still ask any questions you have about adoption! Just email me.


Thanks for stopping by~