WELCOME TO MANHOOD

*This was written by my awesomely funny brother Zach, to our little brother David, who just had a birthday. Enjoy.

DAVID!!!! 

David. David. David. I've heard it said, "When I was a boy, I played like a boy, I dressed like a boy, I danced around like a little sissy....like a boy. But when I became a man, I took that boy out back and I SHOT HIM!!!"  I believe the time has come David, to take off your boyhood and put on your MANHOOD. Wear it proud, wear it every day, and wear as if it shields you from thoughts of wanting to live with your parents ‘till you’re thirty-five. Because, it does. Wear it as if it will make you strangle yourself with your own hands if you even think about buying a, "MAN BAG." Because, it will. Wear it as if it will cause spontaneous and uncontrollable expulsion of the bowels if you believe for one second!! The lie that the measure of a man is in his cars, trucks, money, clothes, good looks, sense of humor, or collection of ballpoint pens. Instead of knowing that your value comes from Christ alone. Because, it will.

And when the world cries out in the night and says,

"Where are all the good men?!!"

You, David will stand up and say,

"I am here!!"

For standing up you will be called a "sexist," “chauvinist," “moralizer," and a, "Jesus Freak." You will be accused of being: judgmental, intolerant, homophobic, and many other things. Because nothing offends the world more than a righteous man.  I personally think you have what it takes to offend thousands!!!!!! But, there are those (the orphaned, the widowed, the tired, the weak and the hungry) who will see you for what you are.

The hands and feet of God.

Happy Birthday David.

Welcome To Manhood

Oh wait! You’re only 17 this year!!!!

I take it all back!!!
j/k