February 22, 2011

Homesick (continued)

Oh, wait. You thought I was done exhaustively detailing why I miss my family?

Only 7 more to go...

 Hannah-Banana. Her name is a palindrome! How can she not be cool? Even though she's married now, and I see her and her husband more than anybody else; I miss my sister, Hannah. I miss living with her while she went to college. Hearing her in her room with my daughter, Kennedy. Painting toenails. Putting on makeup. Child whisperer. Seeing her soft as butter towards my children.Loving them as her own. I miss watching her with any child. She has a way with little people that is beautiful. I know it sounds cheesy; but it's true. I miss getting to know her as a friend...and not as a way older sister babysitting a younger sister. I miss her practicing her ballet positions in the kitchen. I can't name any of them.  I miss her teaching my kids her latest dance routines. I miss feeling peaceful because she was there.  I miss her.

Cole and Hannah visiting Louisiana April 2010.

I miss watching her husband, Cole,  get to know my family! An L.A. kid, navigating his way around eastern Oregon and a room full of 30 people! He's a rare, kind, intelligent, honest, and giving person. It wasn't just Hannah that hit the jackpot when she fell in love with him. We all did.

I miss my little sister, Bekah. I miss her borrowing my clothes...and not telling me. I miss her coming over to cry, or laugh, or talk about Jesus. I miss her heart for God. I miss her social butterfly-ness.  Oh, how I miss that. I miss her awesome-crazy-style that we all make fun of her for. But, that I really think is freakin' cool. I miss her little 4'8" frame always, always, ALWAYS snuggling up for a hug. I miss her playing with my kids. And, selfishly...I miss her watching them while I go get a coffee! I miss how she bubbles with the things she's excited about. How she cannot contain information...that it emanates out of her cheeks, teeth,  eyes and fingertips. I miss feeling happy because she's in the room.  I miss seeing her at church and feeling like I have a connection. I just miss her.

Bekah and her boyfriend, Cam. July 2009.

I miss my little sister, Suzy. I miss her awesome smile. The most awesomest smile on the planet.  I miss watching her grow into a young woman...who constantly makes me scratch my head. "Where'd she come from?" How is she so normal...and nice? What happened to the little mop-head who crawled around on the the floor and pretended to be a puppy?  How did she get to be a young woman? I miss her gentle spirit for others and her passion for God. Watching her be so willing to invest in my kids. Go toad catching with Jack. Let the littles feed her fish. I miss watching her constantly go against the flow of a typical teenager and evolve into a college student who lives at home, drives her little brothers around, and helps with the chores. All with radiance...that you just don't see often. I miss just watching her live her life so differently than me and the other girls. And being in awe of how graceful she is, despite her giggles and goofiness. I miss her.

Ray and Suzy. July 2010

I miss my four little brothers who aren't so little anymore.

I miss David, who is an old soul. Not because he's a know-it-all. But because he watches people...and notices. Because he takes care of people smaller and weaker than himself. I miss watching him play with my babies...and protect Ked. I miss watching him wrestle with my boys, or give them wedgies. I miss watching him at church. Awkward gentlemanly-ness. I miss watching him and Suzy's old couple relationship. "Suzy, you should call mom. Suzy, you should get money for lunch. Suzy, what time are we supposed to be home?" Like an old man who doesn't know where his socks are. I miss his smile. I can't wait to see what he does next.  And, I only hope that the girl he marries knows the kind of protectiveness all his sisters feel for him and the other "little" boys.  They better  be nice. I just miss him.

David holding Ray while she drools and falls asleep. July 2010.

I miss my Sam. The little stinker who organized blocks by color and size right around the time he could walk. He learned to walk before any of us...not because he's one of those hyped-up, super physical kids. But, probably because he thought in his little baby brain, "Walking is a mathematical equation. I see all those chumps doing it. By dandy--I'm going to walk, too!" I miss that he is usually watching the adults and always knows what's going on...but will act too cool to know. I miss our sarcastic interchanges that never seem to hit right...but have potential non-the-less. I miss seeing him with his animals in 4-H, and seeing him carve out his own path in a family that has a little bit of everything. I miss watching him become the tallest member of the family. Something we all knew would happen; he's always been the, "average height" kid. Didn't fall off the growth charts like the rest of us. I miss watching the movies he  directs with David and Suzy. Because, I don't care what you think...they are FREAKING AWESOME!!! I miss seeing their crazy funny sense of humor! I miss watching him change from a kid to a teenager...and soon a young man. Full of dreams, plans for the future. I love him. I miss him.

Suzy, Sam, and Hannah. January 2009.

I miss my little brother, Josh. This kid is FULL of...stuff. He's fascinated by things kids his age shouldn't care about. Watches political talking heads. Builds robots. Thinks outside the box...always. I miss watching him keep up with grown-up discussions on politics, science, or God. I miss his self-assuredness that seems to be a common thread with the men in my family. I miss him explicitly indicating to people...that despite the fact that he has inherited our family's disposition towards smaller statures; he is NOT going to take crap from anyone, any day, anytime. I miss him so eagerly begging to babysit or do something to help. I miss watching him grow up. I just miss him.

Josh getting tidied up before Hannah's ceremony. 2010.

Daniel. I miss that kid!! The fat baby I showed to Jason the first time he met my family. The baby who wouldn't walk down the aisle at my wedding. Who became my son's first friend. Who is still my son's best friend in the world. I miss the way you can ask him to do anything...ANYTHING, and he will nod his head and say, "Yeah, sure." 

"Drive the car to the grocery store and pick up some milk Daniel."


"Daniel! Do you think you could lift this 9000 pound boulder out of my yard?

"No problem."

"Daniel! Can you solve world hunger?!"


He's great. He's a blessing to me as a sister almost two decades older than him. He's a blessing to my parent's as a gift in their oldER age. And, he's a blessing to my children...as an uncle who is real, true, friend.
I miss him.

Lincoln, Daniel, and Jack, Fourth of July, 2009. He's being totally patriotic during the nation anthem. Lincoln...not so much.

I miss them all.

One of my all time favorite pictures of my family. Oregon coast vacation, 2009. Minus all the married kids at the time. Still awesome.


  1. I miss my sister-in-law sarah. I miss her constant, perfect encouragement. Her quests for healthier pancakes and cookies, her cute little self flailing arms and legs in turbo kick (making me feel a little less awkward)which kicked my buns into gear and got me be a healthier, better person all around (which i will be forever grateful for!). I love that in the middle of 5 kids, the adoption roller coaster, deployment, and everyday chaos that is life, she will stop everything and listen, truly listen, to whichever random family member or friend comes by unannounced. I miss laundry baskets! (and the smell of her fabric softener...in a non-creepy way) I loved folding her laundry just to feel like i helped a tiny smidge to make her day better -to pay her back for all the times she made mine tremendously better with her mother/wifeisms of wisdom-she is much smarter and more together than she ever gives herself credit for. I miss her sweet "wow those kids are so well behaved!" babes and all their individual, endearing quirks that always make me smile and remind me to cherish my own kids even more...cause they grow up sooo fast. I miss movie night at the deems with lattes and oreo cookies. I just miss them....

  2. haha! I TOTALLY miss turbo kick!! I didn't mind being the worst person there with all my friends. But, I don't want to be the new kid in a class full of strangers :-p I MISS people stopping by (okay. You and Bekah.). I'm such a complete hermit--I think God used it to keep me sane. (And, you DID make my days better.) Awww. Katie! We're as bad as Bekah and Cam on facebook ;-)

    p.s. If you come visit. I'll let you sniff my laundry.

  3. You are a lucky woman to have so much to miss. I am just sorry you are feeling it so keenly right now. February is like that...


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